Self Control
There are many everyday lapses in self-control that affect our lives. Ask yourself the following questions:
Can you sit still for 30 minutes without picking up your phone?
Can you read a book without your mind wandering off toward your own thoughts and ideas?
Can you listen to a person talk without thinking about what you want to say next?
These are just a few of the everyday examples of how we might struggle to exert self-control and focus on what is in front of us.
Left with nothing to do for even a few minutes, I feel an overpowering urge to pick up my phone. My mind cycles through various reasons why I might want to look at my phone. Maybe someone has tried to call me. Maybe I should browse the book selection on Amazon to see what I want to read next. If all else fails, there’s always news.
Reading a book inspires ideas. But I struggle to remain focused on the author’s ideas and, instead, I drift towards my responses. I fixate on my processing rather than their message.
Likewise, I struggle to listen attentively when someone is talking. My mind is too preoccupied. I lack the patience needed to listen well. I hear the gist of what they are saying, decide on what I want to say in response, and then wait for my opportunity to talk. Their stories make me want to tell my story. They do the same and we take turns not really listening to each other.
I have to actively resist the urge to contemplate. If left to its own, my mind would wander towards my to-do list. My growing to-do list might turn into negative self talk.
I am surprised that my life is not a complete mess, but I know without a doubt that my limited willpower has impacted my life. I see self-control as the low-hanging fruit that has the greatest impact. Gaining self-control means being less reactive.