Everyday Self-Control
There are many everyday lapses in self-control that affect our lives. I like to ask myself the following questions:
Can I sit still for 30 minutes without picking up my phone?
Can I read a book without my mind wandering off toward my own thoughts and ideas?
Can I listen to a person talk without thinking about what I want to say next?
Left with nothing to do for even a few minutes, I feel an urge to pick up my phone. My mind cycles through various reasons why I might want to look at my phone.
Reading a book inspires ideas. But I can struggle to remain focused on the author’s ideas and, instead, I drift towards my own interpretations.
Likewise, I sometimes struggle to listen attentively when someone is talking. I might just hear the gist of what they are saying, decide on what I want to say in response, and then wait for my opportunity to talk. They do the same and we take turns not really listening to each other.
These are all examples of being in a reactive state. Overcoming that reactivity requires self-control. Here are three ideas:
Practice sitting in stillness. Start small, gather wins, and grow.
Seek to understand without reacting. Resist the urge to make it about you.
Make space by letting go of initial thoughts. If they are important, they will come back.