Flexible Routines

I am a big believer in the power of routines. I have spent years curating my morning routine. Every morning, I follow the same initial steps. I wake up, I start the coffee, I go to the bathroom, I wash my hands and my face, I drink a large glass of water, I take my supplements, I pour my coffee, I do a short <5 minute workout, and then I spend about 10-15 minutes reading. From there, I either begin my workday or I write. On workdays, I start with my most important task, before checking email or anything else. This has been my routine for years and it has resulted in increased productivity, satisfaction, and balance in my life.

But on occasion, my routine is disrupted. I am a parent of two young girls and sometimes they decide to wake up early, in which case my morning routine is no longer possible. Initially, being unable to follow my routine would throw off my entire day. The consequences would vary, from feeling slightly unfocused to feeling overwhelmed with frustration. Each time I would be reminded that my routine had a profound impact on the quality of my day. Over time these reminders programmed me to respond negatively every time my routine would be disrupted. I would sigh with frustration if I heard one of my girls calling out before I made it through my routine.

I knew how attached I was to my routine and I didn’t like the negative outcomes I was experiencing when my routine was disrupted. I also knew that it was a huge problem to direct my frustration towards my family. Prioritizing the most important things is the main foundation of my morning routine and there is nothing more important to me than my family. Aware of these things, I began practicing flexibility.

Being adaptable requires consideration of others. When my girls wake up, I now think about their priorities and I value the opportunity I have to connect with them. Likewise, if my routine is disrupted because my wife needs me, then I glady drop what I’m doing to be there for her. I’ve shifted my mindset from thinking about myself to thinking more about how I can be there for others, especially my family. In this way, I keep the most important things the most important things.

It’s not always so easy. Routines can be disrupted for many reasons, some of which are not so obviously more important. For whatever reason, I simply accept that I will need to adjust my routine for the day. Then I focus on not letting it disrupt the rest of my day. I might make an alternative plan for “me time” or intentionally cultivate gratitude towards whoever interrupted my routine. With just a little practice, I began having productive, satisfying, and balanced days, even when my routines were disrupted. These positive experiences reprogrammed me so that I no longer dread being interrupted while meditating or reading in the morning. Now I have the best of both worlds; I still value my routines, but I also value being adaptable.