Being a Good _____

I imagine that everyone desires to be good at something - maybe you wanted to be a good husband, maybe you wanted to be a good dad, or maybe you wanted to be a good leader. Sometimes we want to be good at something, but then fail to live up to what we hoped we would be - we wanted to be a good husband, but we weren’t.

To be good at ______, you have to make a conscious effort. How good of a husband you are depends on how much time you spend actively trying to be a good husband. You can’t just be a husband (or anything else) and hope to be good. Reality doesn’t reflect intent; it reflects effort.

When reality sets in and we realize we haven’t been a good ______, we might excuse ourselves because we had intended to be good. Sometimes our excuses are in the form of blame. You may say something like, “I wanted to be a good husband, but my wife was always working.” Even if there is truth in this statement, there may be deeper reasons why your wife is always working. By placing the blame elsewhere, we fail to see the flaws in ourselves.

I find that it helps to make lists of actions we can take. To be a better husband, I can do X, Y, and Z. To be a better father, I can do X, Y, and Z. It is also important to think of being better in a cumulative context. You don’t have to be bad at something to become better. Instead, doing X, Y, and Z adds to and reinforces our reputation as a good ______. In the end, our reputation will reflect our dedication to making positive impacts, both big and small.